The Beagle

Once upon a daytime dreary, while I pondered tired and weary
Over many a quaint and curious squeaking of toys galore,
While I nodded, eyes a-darking, suddenly there came a barking,
As of some galumpher harking, snarking at our screened front door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `parking near our screened front door -
With this, I need no more!'

Ah, distinctly I do recall it was well before the last Fall
Wrought its chill 'pon bipeds and covered up their legs.
Eagerly I wished for heat; - vainly I had sought to meet
On my nose the calm to delete - Jumping like a powder keg -
For the rare and radiant bare calf which I target with vi-gor -
Twitching here forevermore.

And the bare unclad and -shod calf, that is the lower leg half
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic stirrings never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at the screened front door -
Some fresh visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, I need no more!'

Presently my nose grew colder; hesitating not and bolder,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your leg cannot I ignore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so plainly you came rapping,
And so loudly you came tapping, tapping at the screened front door,
That I scarcely can believe it' - here bipeds opened up the door; -
Grandpa's leg, and nothing more.

Deep onto that bare leg peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no beagle ever dared to dream before
But the thought it was unbroken, and my mind it gave no token,
And with no word there spoken A task I could not ignore.
I licked my nose, the heat to dispose, I thought "It go for!"
Merely this and nothing more.

My stomach was a-churning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a thought though somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely Grandpa wanted me to use my cold nose;
Why would he so much leg expose? Let's this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
Like the wind he'll rage and roar!'

None could see that I did shudder, nor that my heart did skip and flutter,
As I stepped up slowly calmly to the bare leg at the door.
Not the least disturbance made I; not a moment stopped or stayed I;
But, with mein of ghost or phantom, snuck toward the screened front door -
With humor more than of malice toward the screened front door -
This I did, and what's more,

This leg was most beguiling my whole body it was smiling,
At the bare and still appendage of Grandpa at the door.
'Fan of Colt, not one of Raven, thou,' I said, 'know this leg maven
Is more danger than a glaive 'n' delights in scaring to the core
All who dare to brandish leg in or out the screened front door.'
Quoth the beagle 'Evermore!'

Quick I darted to boldly touch the skin with nose so coldly
Wet and prepared quickly and now - with no warning before
Grandpa showed up here and being that we are all agreeing
That no beagle is weeing, bipeds' attention to implore,
Bird or beast is not to deny this temptation at the door.
He'll rocket for evermore.

Above the ankle touched I only, though the spot was rather bonely,
With a firm but gentle nudge did his body heat outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - like a feather then he fluttered -
"Doh! da-J***s! Perl!" he shouted. "Please stop your cold nose outted
Into snowdrifts that Hoosier Junes have never seen before."
Quit the nosing? With your bare legs? And you shaking to the core?
Grinned the beagle ... "Eat my shorts, man!"