Dog Down Under

[Dedicated to Radley, an Australian cattle dog formerly at HSI whom the female biped dearly wanted]

Traveling through a local shelter
It was hotter than a working smelter.
I saw a cattle dog, who looked so helpless.
I took her home, as I was whelp-less.

And she said
“I’m a dog from the land down under.
But one day I made such a blunder.
I left my yard and I did wander,
And I got lost in the rain and thunder.

“Slept in a crate, to rest my muscles.
Then I was at sea, bound for Brussels.
How the world did it wind up winter?
I just sighed and boarded with a vintner.

“And he said
‘You’ll go back to the land down under.
When I ship down my latest plunder.
How you got here is a wonder.
Slip in this crate, and I’ll add the cover.’

“Ay-yaaaaa.

“Wound up on a dock near New York.
On my own, and craving some pork.
A rabbi said, ‘Oi veh, you are crazy!’
I ran west toward the sunset hazy.

“And I thought
‘Need to get to the land down under.’
My head it felt just like a dunder.
As I passed a small girl, I stunned her.
I was so quick, I outran the thunder.”

I said
“Do you need the land down under?
It would tear my whole world asunder.
You could stay, there’s no need to wander.
Please don’t you run, it would be such a blunder.”

What I said, I think it stunned her.
Then she thought how the sky had sunned her.
Then she sniffed, then she ate her plunder.
And shuddered at the rolling thunder.

“Ah, t’ heck with the land down under.
Leaving wasn’t really such a blunder.
You’re so nice, and Indy’s cool in summer. (Sorta.)
Leaving here would only make me chunder.”