Beagle Like Me

[With apologies to TV on the Radio for mangling Wolf Like Me
(by The Were-Beagle, aka Perl the Inhaler)

Hey hey, my packmate.
Won't you lay paws on me?
I know you’re one good dog,
But your mind is full of fog.

You got a curse that I can lift,
Always act like you drank a fifth.
When the moon is round and full,
Need to chase that bird, in the midriff
(Your ears will change)

I’m as fast as a stolen car;
Behind you will always fall far,
Unless the transformation takes you,
You’ll never be a packhound star.

Your ears will change,
Your nose will strain,
But how you’ll like it.
With smell-tuned brain
And heart aflame,
Oh, how you’ll like it.

You’ll sniff the world,
Your tail unfurled,
Oh how you’ll like it.
Your snout smells all,
You’ll hunt all fall,
Oh, how you’ll like it.

Show me your smallest doubt,
I’ll turn you round in time.
When the moon is round and full,
Gonna show you stench that will blow your mongrel mind.

In every mutt I recognize,
There’s a beagle hidden down inside.
I know that I’m the lucky kind,
So can you, you, you.

I know it’s strange,
This dog breed change
Into a beagle.
But here’s the thing:
You must have wings
To soar with eagles.

I know it’s odd
To change your bod
Into another.
It will be soon,
Here comes the moon,
Let’s just take cover.
Cover!

[dreamy howls in background]

Dream of squirrels brought
Down to the ground, and
Open your ears and let them
Droop on down.

Feel me tweak your snout,
Until the scents flow in.
Open your mind and let the
Smells go in.

Feel your compact paws,
Run o’er woodland floor.
Now you know what all the
Howlin’s for.

[dreaminess ends]

Hey hey my packmate!
Let’s get that tasty hare!
He is down in the fallow field!
That’s where! Where! Where! Where!

(We’re howling forever, ahw roo!)
Now your curse did fully lift.
The whole world is getting sniffed.
(We’re howling forever, ahw roo!)
Beauregard has got a scent!
Your restraint’s no longer pent!

(We’re howling forever, ahw roo!)

Howl out how it feels so good,
Chasing Little Red Riding Hood!
(We’re howling forever, ahw roo!)
Now you know we’re the lucky breed!
It’s true! True! True! True!
We’re howling forever, ahw roo!

We’re howling forever, ahw roo!
We’re howling forever, ahw roo!
We’re howling forever, ahw roo!
We’re howling forever, ahw roo!