Long Eared Beagle Boy

[With apologies to Charlie Daniels]

People say I’m silly, and loud as a bassoon.
When I run hard in the morning, I sleep hard in the afternoon.
Ticked just like grandpa’s hunting hound, chewing rope bones ‘til they’re frayed.
Ain’t never caught a rabbit, but I darn sure got it made.

Cause I won’t ask nobody for nothing,
If I can steal it on my own.
If you don’t like the way I’m howlin’
You just give his long eared beagle boy a bone.

Perlie girl squawking at me, wants to put me in my place.
Thinks she can be the big dog, so she’s barkin’ right in my face.
She said I drank all of the water, and I know that it’s true.
So now I need to go in the yard, to wee and maybe eat some poo.

And now I’m asking all y’all for something,
Or I’ll just steal it on my own.
If you don’t like the way I’m howlin’
You just give his long eared beagle boy a bone.

A Yorkie wants to marry, a poodle wants to flirt.
Setters go to K-9 Kollege, scotties dig in the dirt.
Labs want to nose you on the crotch, a hound wants to smell your feet.
I just want everything and all, and I’ll beg for a jerky treat.

But I won’t ask nobody for nothing,
If I can take it on my own.
If you don’t like the way I’m howlin’
You just give his long eared beagle boy a bone.